OutNEWS – National Coming Out Day

I came out 30 years ago, and even now, writing those words feels surreal. From the very beginning of my career, I’ve shared my coming-out story tens of thousands of times with leaders at hundreds of companies worldwide. I’ve told it in boardrooms and rugby stadiums, on podcasts, TED Talks, CNN, and even in the South China Morning Post.

If you know me, you’ve probably heard my story more times than you can count. For the full version, you can dig through old posts, but here’s the short version: 18-year-old Todd. Boarding school. A trip to New York to see Angels in America. Total sledgehammer moment—I realized I couldn’t be Joe Pitt (closeted and married). I wrote a letter to David Marshall Grant, who played Joe Pitt, and sent it to the stage door of the Walter Kerr Theatre. He wrote back, and that response changed my life. It made possible everything I’ve done since then.

Todd (pictured here in his boarding school yearbook photo) came out while attending Woodberry Forest, inspired by David Marshall Grant’s portrayal of Joe Pitt in the Broadway production of Angels in America, which made him realize he couldn’t live his life in the closet. Pictured above clockwise from top left: Todd and David Marshall Grant, Todd’s year book picture, the Bethesda Fountain from Angels in America as featured on the Out Leadership hero wall, and the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park.

So why do I keep telling it? Because sharing the most vulnerable part of myself allows the people I’m speaking to truly see me, to connect with me, and it lets me be fully authentic. From an advocacy perspective, putting myself out there over and over again shows everyone I meet what a gay man is—and could be—and that’s how we change hearts and minds. Fear thrives in the unknown, but it’s hard to hate what you understand, and even harder to hate someone you care about. Every time we come out (and it happens daily, in every space we occupy), we give people the gift of knowing us. And each time someone comes out, it makes it just a little easier for the next person to do the same.

I’m deeply grateful for all those who came out before me, especially the men who were forced to come out in the worst way—by dying of AIDS. I can’t begin to fathom the dual trauma of being closeted and knowing you were dying of a disease so misunderstood that people would rather throw away the plates and silverware you used than wash them because they believed it could never be clean.

The average age for kids coming out today is 11. I was an anomaly for my generation—most men came out around 25. Research shows that most people know their sexual orientation and gender identity between the ages of 6 and 8. Today, there are visible out gay CEOs, lawyers, bankers, soccer players—even prime ministers and Academy Award winners. These lucky young people are coming out in a world forever changed by the often untold, hard-won battles fought in every place imaginable. In the streets, like my mentor Larry Kramer’s “ACT-UP Die-Ins.” In and for our bars (and not just Stonewall). In hospital rooms (even still, sadly). In churches (where even gay Methodists can now marry). In state houses (I’m proud we got the NCAA and Final Four to use their power in Indiana). In Congress (the Respect for Marriage Act sure sounds better than the Defense of Marriage Act). And even in the Supreme Court. Today, LGBTQ+ Americans can serve openly in the military, can’t be fired for being LGBTQ+, and can marry the person they love—something unimaginable to me 30 years ago. Being gay is no longer considered a disorder in the DSM, which guided psychiatrists until 1978. And AIDS is now a manageable, understood disease.

All this progress happened because we came out. We had to. Each and every one of us, in our own time—to our families, our companies, our communities. Online and in person. And we’ll keep coming out until it’s no longer a question to be asked or a law to be passed. As the saying goes, “We’re here. Get used to it!” Happy National Coming Out Day, America.

Sincerely,

Todd Sears
Founder & CEO
Out Leadership

Here’s what you need to know this week…

#1
National Coming Out Day: Boosting Visibility for LGBTQ+ Inclusion

National Coming Out Day, celebrated on October 11th, honors the courage and empowerment that comes with being open about one’s sexual orientation and gender identity. Since its inception in 1988, this day has been a cornerstone in the LGBTQ+ rights movement, symbolizing the importance of visibility and authenticity in both personal and professional spheres.

Visibility is not just about individual empowerment; it’s also critical for advancing broader LGBTQ+ inclusion, especially within corporate environments. By being open, LGBTQ+ individuals pave the way for greater representation in leadership and decision-making roles, such as board positions. However, research shows that corporate diversity is still lacking, particularly in relation to LGBTQ+ board diversity. Expanding the practice of LGBTQ+ self-identification (Self-ID) in the workplace can help address this gap. As outlined in Out Leadership’s Visibility Counts report, Self-ID enables organizations to better track LGBTQ+ recruitment, retention, and advancement, ensuring that LGBTQ+ individuals receive the opportunities they deserve​.

Out Leadership’s 2024 OutQUORUM Board Diversity Report will be released in November.

Coming out plays a pivotal role in advancing LGBTQ+ inclusion, particularly when it comes to leadership and board diversity. By choosing to be open about their identity, LGBTQ+ employees not only empower themselves but also help create visibility within their organizations. This visibility is critical for tracking representation at all levels, from entry positions to the boardroom. When employees feel safe to come out and self-identify, companies gain the insights needed to measure and support the growth of LGBTQ+ talent within their workforce.

As emphasized in the Visibility Counts report, encouraging Self-ID allows organizations to gather data that supports the recruitment, retention, and promotion of LGBTQ+ employees. When individuals come out, they contribute to a broader effort that drives targeted policies, including board diversity initiatives. Visibility helps identify LGBTQ+ talent, ensuring they receive the leadership development and support necessary to advance to key decision-making roles.

The act of coming out has ripple effects beyond the individual; it strengthens the business case for LGBTQ+ inclusion. Companies that actively promote coming out and Self-ID are better positioned to build diverse leadership teams that reflect the communities they serve. Board diversity, driven by the visibility and inclusion of LGBTQ+ leaders, fosters innovation, enhances decision-making, and creates more inclusive corporate cultures. National Coming Out Day reminds us of the power of visibility, not just for personal empowerment but for creating systemic change in how companies cultivate and promote LGBTQ+ leadership.

Here are some of our favorite coming out stories:

#1

Gus Kenworthy

Gus Kenworthy’s journey to living openly as a gay man is a powerful example of how authenticity can transform both personal and professional lives. After winning a silver medal at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, Kenworthy found himself grappling with the burden of being closeted in a sport and an environment where LGBTQ+ inclusion was largely absent. In 2015, his public coming out was a defining moment, one that not only shifted the course of his career but also inspired countless others in the athletic community who had long felt they needed to hide their true identities.

Living openly brought newfound freedom to Kenworthy’s performance on the slopes. Without the fear of being outed, he reached new heights, consistently landing on the podium in competitions around the world. His history-making televised kiss with his partner at the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics was a watershed moment for LGBTQ+ visibility in sports, sending a message of acceptance to millions of viewers.

A previous Out Leadership summit speaker, Kenworthy’s journey resonates deeply with the LGBTQ+ community, and he will continue to inspire as he makes an appearance at the 2024 Out Leadership Australia Summit. Through his visibility and advocacy, Kenworthy has shown that embracing one’s true self can lead to personal and professional greatness.

Fitterling’s coming out was not only a personal victory but also shaped his leadership philosophy. He learned the profound importance of bringing one’s whole self to work, a principle that now informs his commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion at Dow. His experience as both a gay man and a stage four cancer survivor gave him a unique perspective on life and leadership. When he assumed the role of CEO in 2018, Fitterling made it his mission to foster an environment where no one at Dow would feel the need to hide any part of their identity.

Under his leadership, Dow has focused on building a culture that prioritizes inclusion and psychological safety, recognizing that a truly innovative and successful company must embrace the full spectrum of human diversity. Dow Chemical is a longtime Out Leadership partner and sponsored our 12th Anniversary Gala.

#3

Charlotte Hamilton

Charlotte Hamilton, the Co-Founder and CEO of Conamix, has long been a pioneering force in the battery technology sector. With nearly two decades of experience creating innovative materials, Hamilton has built her career in a field largely dominated by men. Her path to leadership was marked by a sense of responsibility and a clear vision, but her decision to come out publicly as a transgender woman has brought new dimensions to her role as a business leader.

Hamilton’s journey was bolstered by a key connection—Jim Fitterling, the openly gay CEO of Dow Chemical. Introduced through Todd Sears, Fitterling provided Hamilton with crucial guidance as she navigated her transition while continuing to lead her company. His advice, paired with unwavering support from her team, co-founder, and investors, enabled Hamilton to step confidently into her identity as a woman CEO.

Her story is one of resilience, authenticity, and leadership. As Hamilton embraces her identity, she has also become a trailblazer, not only for transgender individuals but for all leaders working in technology and sustainability. Today, she remains deeply committed to advancing diversity and innovation, continuing to push for cultural change within an industry ripe for transformation.

#4

Ken Ohashi

Ken Ohashi, CEO of Brooks Brothers, has long prioritized authenticity, a principle that guided him even when navigating business in places where attitudes toward LGBTQ+ individuals can be less accepting, like the Middle East. Ohashi, who has publicly embraced his identity as a gay man, refuses to hide who he is, regardless of the cultural context. “I promised myself I would never lie about who I was or my family structure,” he shared during the 2024 OutNEXT Global Summit. This commitment to honesty and transparency has shaped his leadership style and strengthened his ability to build trust within his team.

Raised in a devout Jehovah’s Witness household as a first-generation Japanese-American, Ohashi’s coming-out journey was deeply personal and came later in life. His experiences of reconciling his identity with cultural and religious expectations have given him a unique perspective on leadership, particularly in international business contexts. Despite potential risks, Ohashi has remained steadfast in his decision to be open about his life, including his family with his husband and their two children.

Through his work at Brooks Brothers, Ohashi continues to champion diversity and inclusion, recognizing that authenticity is not just a personal value but a powerful business strategy that fosters trust and drives success across cultural boundaries.