A Quilt of Many Memories

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In this week’s OutNEWS: A Quilt of Many Memories

Like most gay men of my generation, the first thoughts I had of being gay were quickly followed by the very real fear of dying of AIDS. The first gay men died of this unknown disease, which was first called GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency) when I was 6 years old. Their deaths, and the death of so many others quickly after, cemented in my young brain the equation: Gay=AIDS=Death, long before the amazing Silence=Death came along. I saw The AIDS PSA of 1987, with the awful scary music and headstone chiseled with a jackhammer, on repeat on MTV when I was 11. Death and discrimination continued, including President Reagan publicly ignoring AIDS until 1985, well into his second term as President. It took the death of actor Rock Hudson, a personal friend of the Reagans (whose telegram plea to help him move to a military hospital in France when he was being kicked out of the American Hospital–who didn’t want its reputation “tarnished”–they ignored), for him to finally take action. A few years later, in 1992 (when I was a sophomore in boarding school), hundreds of ACTUP activists created a “Political Funeral,” bringing urns with the ashes of their loved ones to the White House and dumping them on the White House lawn in protest. And 32 years later, last Sunday, for the first time ever, thanks to President Biden, that same White House lawn displayed pieces of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, each panel the size of a coffin, hand-made by friends, family, and lovers memorializing someone who died of AIDS. And I had the true honor to be invited there to witness it.

Since 1981, when those first 41 men died what the New York Times called a rare gay cancer, more than 80 million people have been infected by HIV/AIDS worldwide, and more than 40 million have died. Countless more have had to cope with the parasitic stigma that the diagnosis, infection, and disease bring with them. And yet, Sunday, in his remarks, President Biden implored us to “find comfort in remembering the one thing that’s never [been] lost: your love for them and their love for you,” I found myself fighting back tears, but also hopeful.

What saved lives, perhaps even mine was the courage shown by LGBTQ+ people, their friends, their families, and their advocates. One such amazing person is Jeanne White-Ginder, who took the grief from the loss of her son Ryan White, who died of AIDS when he was only 18, to fight the last 35 years, winning hundreds of millions of dollars to fund life-saving programs for people living with HIV/AIDS. On the White House lawn on Sunday, Dr. Biden introduced Jeanne, who spoke of how then-Senator Joe Biden was the very first person to pledge his support for the Ryan White Care Act mere moments after her testimony concluded on the Senate floor. Again, tears and hope.

Perhaps surprising to some, I also think of President George W. Bush and his creation of the now-in-jeopardy President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) that placed the United States firmly on the frontlines of the global fight against AIDS. PEPFAR’s ambitious goal to eradicate the disease by 2030 appears on track–all the more reason to fight for its reauthorization. Across 55 countries, PEPFAR now provides lifesaving HIV treatment for 20.6 million people, including 566,000 children. And, as of this past September, 95% of HIV-infected adults and 89% of HIV-infected children are currently virally suppressed.  It is truly one of the most successful public health campaigns in world history. Last year, also at the White House, I heard former President Bush remark that PEPFAR was what he was most proud of from his entire presidency.

Finally, I thought of the thousands of emerging LGBTQ+ leaders who have participated in Out Leadership’s emerging talent accelerator program, OutNEXT.  Each of these leaders came into a world and a workplace where they won’t die of AIDS (most have thankfully never had to even consider it), and they can’t be fired for being LGBTQ+.  And because of that, these extraordinary young people are able to capitalize on their virtually unlimited potential.  And it is so thrilling to see.  I only wish all the men and women who died of AIDS in the generations before them could see it.  I actually like to think that they can and do.

These were all the thoughts in my head last Sunday, standing on the White House lawn, looking across the AIDS Quilt towards the Mall (where the Quilt was fully once displayed) and the Washington Monument. My final thought was what will happen next World AIDS Day at the White House. I know it seems doubtful to most, but the eternal optimist in me hopes that the future occupant of this office may somehow choose to follow the example of President and Doctor Biden, Jeanne White-Ginder, former President Bush, and thousands of others. Leaders who refused to be defined by their party or their loss but rather by their courage to do the right thing.  And if the President-elect needs reminding, I’d like to point out that the most important mentor in his life, Roy Cohn, suffered from and ultimately succumbed to the ravages of HIV/AIDS. And if my advocacy falls on deaf ears, we’ll all continue to fight without fail to protect what we’ve won; the memory of who we’ve lost; and most importantly, what we keep: our love for them and their love for us.

Hopefully,

Todd G. Sears
Founder and CEO
Out Leadership

Here’s what you need to know this week…

#1
Out Leadership Federal Employee Professional Initiative

#2
Looking for Organizations to Support this Holiday Season?

As you may know, for over two decades, Lambda Legal has been an organization near and dear to Todd’s heart. Lambda Legal is one of the oldest LGBTQ+ organizations in the country, and as Todd likes to say, “Every civil rights advance for LGBTQ+ Americans can be connected back to a Lambda Legal case.” This holiday season is a great time to donate, and no organization needs it more than our friends at Lambda Legal.

2024 has been an astounding year for anti-LGBTQ+ – and specifically anti-trans– legislation. There are currently over 500 bills in various legislatures, and Lambda Legal is leading the fight in many of them.

Lambda Legal has also opened its half-century of archives to create a coffee-table book commemorating its 50th anniversary. Dozens of landmark legal cases from 1973 to 2023 winning and shaping the civil rights of the LGBTQ+ community are featured, alongside rarely seen and never-published images from Lambda Legal’s photo archive, dating back 50 years to the beginning of the organization’s history, this is the first book to celebrate and commemorate the societal impact of Lambda Legal’s landmark strides for the civil rights of the LGBTQ community.

You can order the book on Amazon here.

#3
Scott Bessent, a Gay Dad, will Likely be the New Treasury Secretary. 

The man chosen to head the US treasury by President-elect Donald Trump currently lives in Charleston, South Carolina, with his husband, John Freeman, a former prosecutor. If approved by the Senate, Bessent will lead the charge on America’s economic policies. He is considered a safe pair of hands in the role.

The former Soros Fund Management executive has openly supported Trump’s economic policies and “America First agenda” and will oversee everything from tariffs to spending cuts. He helped finance Trump’s second presidential bid and has been described as an “economic adviser” to the campaign.

Freeman is quoted as saying: “If you had told me in 1984 when we graduated, and people were dying of Aids that 30 years later I’d be legally married and we would have two children via surrogacy, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

Let’s hope Scott Bessent has a tempering influence on the incoming administration.

#4
More LGBTQ+ Progress Around the World!

Germany allows gender self-determination

Germany’s new Self-Determination Act came into force on November 1st, allowing people aged 18 and older to change official records to alter their names and genders or have the gender marker removed altogether.

There is a mandatory three-month wait between applying and making a personal declaration, but the requirement for two psychiatric assessments and a court hearing have been scrapped.

Minors — over the age of 14 — can do so with parental approval or seek legal recourse. Parents can act on behalf of younger children, but the child needs to be present at the register office and give their assent. This is a purely bureaucratic procedure with no medical implications.

Britain’s top model is Transgender

At the British Fashion Council’s 2024 Fashion Awards on Tuesday night in London, Alex Consani was awarded model of the year, making her the first-ever transgender model to win this award. In her award speech, she said: “I can’t accept this award without thanking those who came before me, especially the black trans women who really fought for the space I’m in today.”  Congrats Alex!

It’s Wicked Queer

The Tony-winning Broadway musical that inspired the film has fueled a million drag performances. It’s also based on out author Gregory Maguire’s 1995 novel. And the blockbuster movie also stars out actors Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, and Bowen Yang alongside vocal LGBTQ+ ally Ariana Grande. Opening weekend was huge! And if you’re one of the few LGBTQ+ people who haven’t seen it yet, run!

#5
Out Leadership’s Mila Jam Performs Hallelujah for the Holiday Season

Grab an egg nog, and get into the holiday spirit by watching this wonderful video of our Senior Adviser for Trans Initiatives, the iconic Mila Jam, singing “Hallelujah” along with the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles. Add it to your Christmas playlist. It’s beautiful. You can find it on Spotify here, and Apple Music here.